Change is Inevitable
Life becomes more manageable when we accept the “truths” of it.
One of these “truths” is that life is ever-changing.
Like the flow of a river, the waters of our lives are always moving.
Some changes are more turbulent than others.
The sooner we accept that this is the nature of life, it becomes easier to navigate the water we find ourselves in.
Stress only happens when you resist life’s events.Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul
The less resistant we are to the flow of life, the easier it is to deal with what we face. Acceptance does not mean that you give up. You just stop having such a problem with the things that bother you, or the things you decided “should not be”
If we have decided that something is unacceptable, we try to resist the experience of it. We are trying to avoid the thoughts or feelings the event stirs up within us. This is exhausting, and it takes us out of the present, living moment.
Consider how much you resist being affected by events that have already happened. Now, consider how much time and energy you could waste on resisting things that might happen, How much more successful could you be in navigating where you actually are in life, if you stop resisting whatever that is?
Resistance blocks our intuition, blinds us from seeing solutions that are right in front of us, and robs us of simple joys throughout the day. When we let go of resistance, we become more pliable, more flexible. Change becomes less difficult. When we quit wasting our precious energy on resisting what we decided was
“unacceptable”, life becomes more manageable and solutions appear.
Non-resistance is simply the lack of responding to life in a reactionary way. Since resistance cuts us off from our intuition, the practice of non-resistance allows us to remain connected and centered so that we can respond to life in an intelligent way that is in line with our values and goals.
Have a Centering Practice
We all need a teacher, practice, or philosophy that we can go back to for grounding.
Cling to something that is true for you, something that helps you to remain connected and centered.
We all have an innate ability to access inner guidance, a higher intelligence that surpasses the worry of the thinking mind.
This inner guidance strengthens and becomes more accessible after quiet time.
Once we quiet down and really achieve inner silence, we often can intuitively sense what we need to know and do. We have more control over our thoughts and our emotions, which allows us to access that inner knowing without so much noise covering it up.
Daily meditation does all of this. Regular practice of meditation creates profound changes within, which become evident in outer life too.
It becomes much easier to not react, and instead reflect, on how to best respond to the many situations we face in life.
There are many apps that offer guided meditations to help you get started on developing a daily practice.
Step into the Unknown
Often we resist life because it is leading us into the unknown. We get scared and want to stay with what we know, but consider how limiting that is. Pretend to put everything that you have experienced and seen in your life into a container. Then compare that to everything that is available in the universe. Suddenly, your container that once felt so big is now very small.
What if the best solution to your problem is not in your tiny container? Don’t you want the best fit? Isn’t that worth some temporary discomfort that comes with not knowing the territory yet?
Along a river’s journey, at points, the path is clear and open and the flow is unobstructed. At other points, the natural flow turns a corner or moves around an obstruction. No matter what, the flow of water finds the path of least resistance. The water does not worry about what is ahead; it just “goes with the flow”
We too can learn the art of going with the flow. This does not mean \ve are flippant and just do “whatever.” We can become flexible and more open to the unknown, utilizing what it has to offer to enhance our lives.
Meditation helps us regain control of our thoughts and emotions. Inner discipline brings inner peace and calm. This calmness allows us to strategize and make intelligent moves in life.
Without the distraction of turbulent emotions and thoughts, we get very clear on how to navigate even the most difficult changes in life.
Saltzman, Allison. “Navigating Changing Waters.” 337 Magazine Dec 31, 2019: 18-19.
Allison Saltzman, LPC is a psychotherapist whose passion is rooted in helping her clients cultivate joy and practice the art of being fully present in their lives. She founded Connected Counseling, a group counseling practice in Lafayette, La, which provides services to children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Connected Counseling is about living well in all areas of life, offering Cognitive Behavior Therapy, mind-body techniques, Play Therapy, and mindfulness-based interventions.